Stefen Fangmeier's Eragon

This movie is a steaming heap of crap. Well more accurately its an ice cold heap of crap. Its a soulless retelling of Star Wars filled with all the things that makes Star Wars lame and none of what makes it cool. It features a nice assortment of bad lines and terrible acting to keep all mst3k fans happy.

If you want to know the plot to this film please use the following steps.

1. Remember Star Wars.
2. Replace Jedi with Dragon Riders.
3. Rinse, Repeat.

It really is that bad. The empire kills Uncle Owen, Eragon goes off with Obi Wan Kenobi to learn to be a Jedi. He meets up with the resistance and so on.

The main issue with this film beyond all the plot issues is that the director along with the cast seemed like the only put enough effort into the film to get a paycheck. Its obvious to make comparisons to Lord of the Rings with this film but these films aren't in the same league. Lord of the Rings was made with such passion and love for the material it nearly bleed right off the screen. This film is just about the opposite of it. The directing is non-existent, its as if the entire film was made by a computer. Any good scene is made with just enough life to get it on the screen but never to make it shine in any sort of way.

Another big issue with the film is its atrocious dialogue. An easy comparison is to the later Star Wars films. Yeah it sucks on a level like that. Robert Carlyle as Darth Vader is the stand out crap performance of the film. The incredibly stupid dialogue doesn't help him out much, but seriously I didn't think he had a performance this hammy in him. Jeremy Irons makes the best of his part and I actually liked his character(The wise old teacher will always be cool). Which went on to make the film more depressing cause it really did not have to be this bad.

Seriously watch Lord of the Rings or Conan the Barbarian(a guilty pleasure of mine) or anything before you waste your time on this piece of crap. It wont sate your hunger for good fantasy(if you have one) it will just simply make it that much worse.

1/5 "Lifeless Garbage"